Games

Play is mostly what the little kids do. And I have no problem with that. These are the most poplular activities, as far as I can tell:

Fort building-The construction of the indoor forts has become more complex. they aren't just throwing a couple of blankets over folding chairs. This past week the playroom was totally transformed. There were two secret passages, stairs, a tunnel and a theoretical drawbridge. I was impressed.

Littlest Pet Shop-This is a toy that is very popular with the girls. I hate it and part of the reason that I hate it is because I screwed up and didn't realize how important it was to Amelia. She kept asking me for it and started saving up and I kept trying to talk her into other stuff until it finally came out that she really was the only girl who didn't have any pet shop stuff and she really felt left out. It reminded me that I need to respect the fact that fitting in is really important to Amelia. I was also kind of pissed because I thought "Hey this is exactly the sort of thing I was trying to avoid by sending them to this school!" but Sudbury does not exist in a vacuum. Anyway, they will play with that stuff for hours and they also trade their pets and accessories. Why couldn't they all be really into Playmobil? We looove playmobil.

YuGiOh/Pokemon-The game involves having battles with the cards and each card has different point values. What I love is that the school has a morgue of old cards that kids have grown out of so the little kids can buy 5 or 10 for a quarter. Sweet!

Chasing/Tag- I haven't bothered to ask the kids about the rules. I just like the names of the games:
Werewolf
Vegan Zombies
Ninja XX

Bionicles and Legos-There are huge bins in the playroom.

Board games are in the library. My kids like Clue.

I often see kids in the art room and lately the mom in charge of the craft fair has been holding workshops for kids to make stuff to sell.

People really start to hyperventilate at the thought of young children doing nothing but playing all day at school but I say, let them play. You know why? Because I have seen many young adults work work work through school, go to college, graduate and then basically do nothing for a few years. Because for the first time in their life, nobody is telling them what to do. And they are either burnt out or can't make a decision for themselves. I do not want a 26 year old living in my house, ruminating on what they are going to be when they grow up. No thank you.

Just throw us a bone, would ya

Ray and I were talking the other night and he admitted to having mixed feelings about Sudbury. We know that the kids are thriving and yet there is still this little voice whispering "But are they learning?" Ray said "Would it kill them to have a class? A half hour with someone organizing them...and doing..something." I suggested they hang a poster of a giant apple with a worm, wearing a mortarboard, poking out of it . He countered with the idea of hanging a cursive alphabet border around the tops of the mirrors in the dance room. He wants a visual cue, something that can connect their experience to his school experience. We had a good laugh about it.

I bet they could stick three desks in a closet and call it "the classroom" and it would make some detractors feel better.

I was trying to explain this conversation when chatting with a mom in the parking lot. I did a poor job of it because she looked horrified when I suggested the alphabet. I should have explained that it was our goofy way of dealing with a situation that takes us out of our comfort zone but I think she took me more seriously than I had intended and probably thinks that we don't "get" Sudbury. Oh well. When you are as talkative as I am with almost no internal censor these things are bound to happen. I don't know if it's the fourth kid or what but I have become a total rambler. It's so odd to hear oneself do it and be powerless to stop. See, here I go. Actually, that ramble took place mostly in my head because I can't type that fast.
Good night.

Yet another great thing about this school

Its great for Amelia because she doesn't have to time manage her play. So, if she's in the mood to play Littlest Pet Shop with the other girls she can and if she feels like playing rough with Des and his friends she can do that too. The girls aren't going anywhere. If she were in a public school where the playtime is rigidly defined everyday would require a choice.

I also think Sudbury is great for siblings. I've probably said this before but it has allowed Des and Amelia, who are twins, to separate on their own terms. I don't think they force separation for multiples in the public schools anymore but it would have been something to discuss and worry about and it just isn't an issue at HVSS. I think this is nice for other sibling groups too. I went to the same elementary schools as my sister and the same high school and most days we barely saw eachother even though we were in the same building because we were two years apart in age. I know that she always resented coming after me because I got good grades(although I was not necessarily a good student) and teachers expected her to be just like me. I resented it when people asked me why she was so different from me. We're very close now but I wonder if we would have been closer during our school years if we had spent time with each other instead of defending or discussing one another.

So far,at HVSS, I have noticed some siblings hang out together and some seem to go their own ways. So I guess it's just pretty regular.

Odds and Ends

We've been a little tied up so here are some odd notes and observations.

A sign posted in the hallway-
Computer co-op meeting
1 PM
to discuss the intense nature of the room

(Note-There are different co-ops for different areas of interest. There is a library co-op, a kitchen co-op, sports co-op and art co-op and probably a couple of others. They set up rules for certfication, maintain the equipment/space, fund raise for supplies, etc. The computer co-op fought very hard for the money to buy 5 really good computers. They also have a very complicated sign up process to use them which I know has frustrated Amelia in the past.)

The little kids have a new game called JC. Des explained it to me "Somebody does something bad and they get written up. Then they say they're not guilty but they are guilty so we have a trial." Hmm, I think they are missing a key concept of our justice system.

Amelia called me to ask if I knew where her friend's lunch box was.

Amelia had a bad week at JC. I know this because she gave me a long lecture about how the big kids don't get written up for anything but little kids get written up for "every single little thing we do!!".

When the kids were asked about their school by a neighbor they explained that Sudbury doesn't have classes or grades. Then they added "Who wants to sit at a desk all day and just be bossed around?" Amen to that.

It ain't paradise.

Here are a few things that I don't like about HVSS:

There is no defined eating space. They have a big kitchen but half of it is given over to a pool table. That's what democracy gets you-a pool table in a kitchen! Actually I don't know how it wound up there. There is also a mobile work table that kids eat at but it is too tall for the little kids, if they don't get a stool they stand on a folding chair and eat. Or they eat underneath it. There is also a large conference table in the lounge that is used for different purposes, I don't know if eating is one of them. There is something to be said for defined eating spaces and mealtimes. It makes the meal more pleasant if you share it with someone and I think gathering to eat is one of the great human social experiences. If I was on staff there I would eat lunch at the same place and at the same time every day and invite people to join me until there was an unwritten lunchtime because you find out a lot of interesting things about people when you eat with them.

The cursing. I have to check the handbook but I don't know if there is an actual rule prohibiting foul language but I think there should be. We are having a real problem with Des and Amelia right now because the teenagers curse and they think they should be able to as well. Contrary to what the user might think, profanity waters down a message, it doesn't strengthen it. Your listener becomes so focused on the epithet that they stop listening to what you are saying. It also opens you up to judgement and criticism if you can't use self control or imagination and need to resort to cursing. I understand when you curse because you are angry or stub your toe its the everyday use as adjectives that I object to.
Raymond had a funny take on why its ok for adults to curse and not children. Since adults have the stress and pressure of going to work and maintaining a home and raising their kids, cursing is an outlet for all of that buildup, a waste product. He referred to it as the "poop of adult life". Well, the way he explained it was funny.

I guess I think they should give the little kids more of a hand but maybe they do and I don't know. Or maybe that is a conflict that I have with the philosophy itself. I am still a mom so its hard for me to watch my kids or kids the same age as my kids struggle.

Hmm, this isn't as long a list as I thought it would be. Not bad.

What does it mean to live in a democracy?

What does it mean to live in a democracy? I started to write more about little kids being suspended because on the face of it it seems so harsh, and so early in the year. However the situation has to be examined in context. This happens less and less in our culture because television does not lend itself to a nuanced examination of issues. The teaser might be "Kindergarteners kicked out of school" and people will form an opinion before even hearing the two minute treatment that it might get on the news. That doesn't help anybody. Unfortunately this way of thinking or rather, not thinking is seeping up through every level of our society. We are all dumbing down. We use brand names as a shorthand for description. I've heard people, adults, who describe themselves in terms of the brands they identify with. Not their religion or ethnic heritage but where they shop. And politics is not immune to this phenomenon. I'm surprised the Clinton's haven't tried to trademark their name. "Clinton-a brand of governing you can trust! New and improved with 2 X chromosomes, that's twice as many as last time!"

Oh dear I think that was a rant. Let me get back on topic.

Democracy. Let's compare Sudbury to a typical public school. Sudbury is a true democracy where all members have a say in how their community is run. Everyone is expected to work together to maintain it and to abide by its rules. The children are trusted and given the responsibility of making decisions about their school in a meaningful way. Power is shared.

Our public schools are authoritarian dictatorships. A system where a few people at the top are telling everybody else what to do and controlling every aspect of their members lives, while they are a part of that system, is a dictatorship. It doesn't matter how pretty they make it or how fun it seems, that's what it is. Children are not trusted to make good decisions. Power is concentrated in the hands of a few people.

Now let's look at discipline against the background of these two systems.
When a child enrolls at Sudbury they sign a contract that says I want to go to school here and I agree to abide by the rules. Children entering public school usually go because their parents tell them to. At Sudbury everyone is expected to follow the same rules and to aid in their enforcement. At public school students learn the rules and follow them and if they break them and get caught they get punished by a teacher or other authority figure. When you get written up at Sudbury you have to answer to the staff and the students.

There is a difference in behavior when people feel invested in the process, when they feel that they have a say. And when they feel like they will be listened to. It's huge. Look at our own society. A complaint by African Americans is that there are two sets of rules, one for whites and one for everyone else. Now, I'm not going to explore the validity of that argument right now but I will say that historically, people of color have not a large formal role in the shaping of our country and its laws, so is it any wonder that they might still have an Us vs. Them mentality? Taking it back to the public schools, for some kids doing the wrong thing becomes more of a risk-reward calculation than a consideration of the merits of the act itself and this comes about because they have fewer options for reaching their goals.

At Sudbury, if you don't like something you can try to change it. It might not work but people will listen to your ideas and debate the merits of it. If you break the rules you have to answer to the community.

Back to the five year olds. These kids had been written up numerous times for not doing their cleaning jobs and I think some other rowdy behavior, I think the general complaint was that they didn't respect the school. They aren't mean, they weren't bullying anyone or lighting fires or anything like that so my instinct is to say "Give them a break, they're still little." But they are not so little to take advantage of the freedom that Sudbury affords them so maybe a one day suspension after repeated write ups is not so harsh. They are saying "hey, if you like it here so much, respect the customs and rules that make this place possible. Contribute to its upkeep." Maybe they won't fully understand the why of it all right now but it may help them get into the habit of being a responsible member of a community.

So, what does all of this have to do with living in a democracy again (I remember the words of a social studies teacher :"It is not a true democracy, it is a representative republic!")? The whole idea of a democracy is that people can govern themselves but that is not what is being taught in the public schools. They are not being taught to make their own decisions,or to experiment with different ways of doing things to find out what works best. Often times questioning the status quo earns you the label of trouble maker (just like questioning the school budget earns one the label of "anti-education"). Sending my kids to Sudbury has made me realize that democracy is messy and groups can definitely make mistakes but you have to trust people and people have to trust themselves to make it work.

Sudbury's AARP

It looks like the 5 year olds are making their mark. Desmond and a friend made a motion to allow fort building indoors(it passed) and when a subsequent motion to ban fort building from the quiet areas was made, it failed. A staff member told me she had to go tell them that the vote was happening though. Amelia said she was going to make a motion to allow eating in the playroom.

Of the 45 or so students at Sudbury at least 10 are 7 and under. They can attend the school meeting, where the business of running the school takes place, serve on JC and pretty much take on as much responsibility as they want. However, they are also held to the same standards as everyone else. Two 5 year olds have already been suspended this year.

A digression-There are two forms of suspension at Sudbury definite and indefinite. And while it carries a tremendous amount of weight, I don't think it has the same lasting social stigma as it might in a public school. It's also done for different reasons and more quickly. Defined suspensions(lasting a couple of days or less) seem to be for specific incidents(I think one was for overturning a table and shouting at someone,remember my information comes from Amelia so it could've been for a completely different reason that I will find out about three months from now) or repeated similar offenses(the two five year olds really hate to do their cleaning jobs and may have been breaking some other rules). Indefinite suspensions(and I only know of one this year so far) have to do more with patterns of behavior especially if it is abusive to other members of the community and if it involves breaking major rules. Basically what they say is-you can't be here if you act this way, if you can change, you can come back. When they are ready to come back, they have to explain themselves and ask to be let back in and it gets voted on. Can you imagine how hard that must be?

So where was I? Oh yes, two five year olds have been suspended. I do wonder if they take age into account as they go through disciplinary procedures. Des has had two dollars in fines for not signing in and out. He got one warning and after that he was fined. The mom in me sees her little guy and thinks he should have gotten a few more chances because at this age they forget all kinds of stuff. The other part of me thinks, well, the earlier he gets into the habit the better it will be in the long run. I don't know. Sometimes I think they don't get the little ones into JC fast enough. Usually write ups are addressed the next day and I think for little kids, when that much time has elapsed its almost like it didn't happen. I don't know if they still associate the punishment with the infraction. They seem to take an "if you say so" attitude. I don't know, the staff probably sees more progress day to day but it would be interesting to do a study of recidivism among the different age groups.