Comparisons and competition

I went to an information session to give the parent's perspective for some folks interested in the school. I almost immediately got into a contentious discussion with a woman who clearly was not buying what we were selling. Somebody else asked me what differences I saw between my kids and kids in more traditional schools. The first thing that came to mind was that my kids were more relaxed. They don't worry about school. More importantly, they don't worry about failure and they don't worry about how they measure up. They aren't afraid to try things because they aren't afraid of failing.

There are a lot of kids out there who get good grades, not because their work is so exceptional but because they know how to get good grades. Ultimately, if your goal is a good grade, not the acquisition of a skill or knowledge, and you have a winning formula where is the impetus to try something new, to go beyond what's asked of you. Failure is not the worst thing in the world, it's not without consequences but it's not irredeemable. I think that the grading system blows the importance of the end results out of proportion and it takes it's toll on kids year after year.

I think that age mixing actually reduces some anxiety also. When you have 20 six year olds to compare yourself to every day, it's easy to start developing skewed ideas of what normal is and how you fit into that. When you are hanging out with kids of all different ages, differences can be ascribed to age rather than some inherent rightness or wrongness about yourself. It's a gentler rating system.

I've noticed that many of the Sudbury kids are generous with their praise of one another. Again, without these constant comparisons and measurements, there is a lot of room for generosity and encouragement. I'm not saying there isn't competition but it's an aspect of what goes on at school not the main, I'm at a loss for words here, factor.