My oh my has it been a week already? We have been busy here.
Two small incidents reminded me how easy it is for grown ups to get in the way.
We stayed a little late on tuesday and were fooling around in the library. A little boy kept asking me to help him set up the game "Mousetrap". I tried but I had to keep Finn out of trouble and my major contribution was "Is the board to the game anywhere because I think that would help?" Des came over and joined him and a little while later I found the board. "Hey guys here's the board." I said,"Now you can see how it's supposed to be." They didn't answer me and an older student said "They're kind of doing their own thing now and that's OK." I was a bit chagrined because she was right. I thought about it later and I'm not beating myself up because he had asked for my help but it is so easy to get hung up on playing the "right" way. Coloring in the lines, building the legos so it looks like the box. In short, letting others set the parameters.
Yesterday was Ray's birthday and because we are so disorganzied right now he got this half assed cake that was supposed to look like a roller skate and the kids each made a little piece of art out of sculptey. Des made a rocket ship and had a tough time. I was helping him work the clay and showing him the different ways to shape it. He kept describing this piece that was supposed to go on the bottom and I disagreed. He looked dejected and said "Fine. I won't make it." I said "Des, it's your work you can put it on if you want. I just don't think it's going to look right." (I know, I'm cringing as I type this.) He said "Well I do but you say it isn't going to look good so I won't do it." I said "No no no Des, It's your gift let's give it a try." So we did and he was right! But even if it had looked like crap I would have left it because it was his project!
Our power over our kids is more than we realize sometimes. I hate to admit this because I have read a couple of essays by Dan Greenberg, the founder of SVS where he makes just this point and I totally disagreed with him and I have been quite vocal about it(except on this blog because I can talk faster than I can type). I still disagree about what the role of parents should be but I will say now that you have to be hyper vigilant about not getting in a kid's way.
1 comment:
I am minded of the time I was in B&N when Isaac was teeny. I was watching a boy, about 6 or 7, beg his mother to buy him a book about fossils. She flat out refused, saying finally, "You're not even interested in fossils." My heart broke for him.
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