Mommy messes up

So the kids got on the bus today. Des had a lot of anxiety about the bus and most of it was my fault. Earlier in the summer we had talked about taking the bus and Des was quite resistant and had said something to the effect that he would just miss the bus everyday so i would have to drive him. I thought he meant he would miss the bus on purpose so I said if you miss the bus everyday, you aren't going to be going to that school. Sigh. Mommy's are not perfect. I am not perfect. We know we shouldn't threaten.

So this morning, Des is very anxious and upset about missing the bus on the way home. With tears in his eyes he says "If I miss the bus you're going to make me go to regular school." Boy did I feel like a jerk.

I was surprised by how much I missed them today. I called school twice to try and chat but they were too busy. I remember last year at the beginning Amelia would call 5 or 6 times a day. Even at the end of the year she would call a couple of times a week. I don't think that will happen this year. And that's fine. It just makes me wistful I guess. When she got off the bus she seemed like a new kid. Older. Well, I still have Finn to baby.