how far do you take it?

I've been spending a lot of time at school these past few weeks, working on stuff for the Halloween fair. I noticed a sign in the Art Room that they have "Sewing Machine" on their wish list. I have a half decent sewing machine gathering dust in my basement because I cannot do any sewing with Cady and Finn around right now. I've been thinking about letting them use it for a year but have hesitated because when you loan something you run the risk of it being damaged. It just seems selfish to keep it to myself when I have no idea when, if ever, I'm going to use it.

I was talking to a staff about it and she said that if they wanted it they needed to do more than just put it on a wish list. Even if they just sent an email out asking if anyone had a sewing machine. This is when I mentioned that I did have one. we talked about if it was a good idea for me to even loan it and she said she was going to encourage them to send an email out now, knowing there was a machine out there.

I thought about it. If this wasn't Sudbury and I knew that some people were looking for a sewing machine and I had one to loan I would just give it to them. But I've got The Philosophy in the back of my mind and I've been thinking that I'll wait for them to ask before I offer. It feels artificial though. Like I'm making it harder for them than it needs to be and not giving them an experience closer to real life, where serendipity often plays a role. I wonder, will they be more or less likely to use the machine if the step of asking for it is eliminated. In a way they did ask. they asked the universe, they put it on a piece of paper and in a very limited way put it out there. What is the crucial step to appreciate the relationship between effort and success? Would the appreciate the dumb luck that I just happenned to notice that they wanted a sewing machine? Is the fact that I'm even considering this to be a lesson a violation of The Philosophy? am I overthinking again? I think so!

On another note, there were some kids in the office getting prices on chemicals, I think for developing film. One of them noticed me walking by and said "We're building a bomb." I started to say "Well, as long as you're learning something" but checked myself and said "Well at least you're keeping busy." A girl said "At least we're learning something!" and we all laughed.

ethical dilemma

There was an article in the paper about HVSS and it was really positive. It was wonderful. My problem is that there are a couple of quotes from me but I didn't really say them. This makes me feel so uncomfortable. One of them was on the front page of the paper as a "Quote of the Week". Am I being naiive? Is this something that is just standard practice with newspapers? I wouldn't mind being misquoted but straight up fabrication just feels so wrong. and I never actually spoke to the person with the byline. why don't they give the guy who did the interview a little credit? I feel like I'm part of a hoax. Maybe I'm making too big a deal of it but I guess I think that newspapers have a responsibility to be truthful. The phrase public trust keeps coming to mind. Now I don't feel like I can trust anything I read in that paper.

I considered writing a note thanking them for the article but objecting to the quotes. I don't really know what I want them to do though- print a correction? Never write about the school again? I think it's just best that I not be involved in this sort of thing in the future. Being dishonest, even passively, for the benefit of the school does not sit well with me.

Is it OK to do the right thing for the wrong reason or to do the wrong thing for the right reason? (If this was an episode of Sex and the city there would now be a scene that involved me discussing this while buying shoes) (I have shoes on the brain because I just had to get rid of 7 or 8 pairs of some really cute ones because my foot is suddenly a 1/2 size bigger than it used to be-another side effect of having kids!) (but I digress)

I just explained my feelings to Ray and he said no one would believe me. Now I'm thinking about all the trash mags I read and he's right, even when you know something is preposterous, seeing it in print does give it this mystical air of veracity(there's an awkward phrase). Well, there's nothing mystical about it, there's an assumption that the person writing the article has taken the time to make sure that what they are saying is true, but why do we assume that anymore? How frustrating it must be for people to read distorted or untrue accounts of events involving them.

the bottom line is that I'm going to let it go, it's not that big a deal(even though it really is!) and hopefully more merit will be generated by generating more interest and hopefully more students for our wonderful school than damage will be done by letting people get away with sloppy reporting. But don't quote me on that.

Busy little bees

The art room is the new hot spot at the school. They changed the way you can be certified for things so that now there are three levels of certification. apparently level two has some really cool stuff because even Des got certified for it.

amelia has brought home lots of paintings and creations with a bunch of buttons glued to them. She is also in love with Mod Podge. Des makes "turretts". They are clothespins and other bits of wood glued together and painted and they are some kind of weapon. At home the kids are into making books. We have tons and tons of scrap paper so they sit and draw for hours and then punch holes in the drawings and tie them altogether with string.

I'm going in this friday to make stuff for the halloween fair. I know it would be easier to do it myself but I like kids and I like working with them so I don't mind the inconvenience of having a few helpers.

Talking to the press is not my strong suit

So I had emailed a local reporter about the school and suggested that they do a story on HVSS. Actually I was trying to get a calender listing about the Halloween fair but figured I might as well ask for a story about the school too.

So last week, I was taking a nap while Finn slept when the phone rang and it was someone from the paper who wanted to talk to me about the school. I was a little groggy and should have asked them to call back but I wasn't thinking. I don't think I said anything dumb but after I got off the phone with him I thought of a few more points and started replaying whatever it was I had said and wished I had just given him the number of another parent to talk to.

The story will be in this week's edition of the paper and I'm dreading it. Irrational fear? Maybe. But I think I like being behind the scenes better. I think I'm an extroverted introvert. Like, I know there are people reading this blog but when they have told me they read it I get so embarrassed, like they've seen me in my unmentionables. And I'm not really confessing any deep dark secrets here. And yet I do like to share my opinion. I mean it can't bother me that much because I do still have a blog.

I don't know. I just don't want to sound like an idiot or make the school look bad.

In other news, I have been sick and in quite a bit of pain thus the drop of in posts. Still plugging away at DIA. Tomorrow I'm going to enter this great passage about the election of the president. Can you stand the suspense? :)

Lastly, today is my 13th anniversary. we were married on a friday the 13th and it has worked out quite well for us. People kept saying "Oh you musn't be superstitious if you picked that date" but I'm actually really superstitious. I have all kinds of "lucky" objects and weird little rituals. You know why? Because it makes life that much more fun! But this is a topic for another post.

I'm not gonna lie

It's been a tough week here at Casa de Yaya.

But we made it through and now we're on to bigger and better things. The playground co op is selling Apple Crisps tomorrow. Amelia is very excited to bring our apple slicer to school tomorrow.
It's nice to have a sense of purpose. Des is really struggling with this right now. He has been since the second week of school. I don't know how to help him. In a meaningful way. I guess it's all in the listening. I try to let him talk about what's going on hoping that he will come to his own conclusion but quite often he just goes around in circles. He basically has two problems 1) figuring out what he would like to do and 2) separating from his friends when he wants to do something that they aren't interested in.

He also said he would like to go to school meeting more often but he doesn't always understand what they are talking about. I suggested that he have someone that he already feels comfortable with explain it to him. I got his usual response "But that's so embarrassing!" The Sudbury Road is a long and windy one.

Losing my touch

I've always loved kids and spending time with them. I never found it hard to find something to talk about. Since I actually had kids though I guess I look at them differently. I don't know. I feel so artificial when I talk to kids sometimes. Two recent experiences made me think about this.

I'm going to HVSS on friday mornings for Halloween Committee meetings. At the first meeting a couple of students strolled in and sat down. Of course I was delighted, especially because they were older kids and I was hoping some of them would get into this so in my enthusiasm I totally put one of them on the spot asking him if he had any ideas. Not the social crime of the century, I know, but at the same time I should have been happy that someone even wanted to see what was going on.

The next week I decided to play it cool. One girl came in and started talking and wanted to share ideas but I got kind of distracted and ended up practically ignoring her. Oof! In my own defense she did ramble on a bit.

Really, I think I just need to brush up on my social skills in general. It's so tempting to look for those "teachable moments" but then I think about my cousin who always had a piece of advice. If you said you liked to read she told you to major in English and become a teacher. She never asked what you liked to read. Ray and I were talking about this, how hard it is to just listen. And to respond in a way that keeps the conversation going.

Thoughts on the Bailout

This is another example of how messy democracy can be. There has been a lot of yammering about the failure of leadership because the bailout bill didn't pass in the house on Monday. First of all I say good because it was crap law that was going to saddle us with a lot of debt and may not even help. Maybe this country needs a credit crunch. If you have to borrow money to pay for anything besides a house or college, well, maybe you can't afford it!

Anyway, I don't think it was a failure of leadership on the part of the House becaue a lot of those who voted no were listening to their constituents which is what they are supposed to do!

We live in a representative republic and if the people you represent don't want something maybe you should listen to them. Maybe those of us who didn't think the bill should pass were wrong and if we were then congress should do a better job of explaining why it's right. Actually the Paulson should explain why he should be allowed to violate the constitution and all the principles of an honest, transparent govt. with the taxpayers money.

I'm glad it happened. It's like the American people are finally waking up and taking control of their government again.

PS I can't believe I am on the same side of an issue as Rush Limbaugh. That is some freaky shit.