Discussion

So why did I put these two quotes up last night?

For inspiration.

The first is to keep the deep purpose of a sudbury style education in mind-raising responsible effective adults in a democratic society. JC- "to purify its morals" school meeting- "to substitute a knowledge of statecraft for inexperience" the freedom to learn-"an awareness of its true interest for its blind instincts"

The second is to never despair when it seems like corporations have taken over everything. I think that's why this election is so important. It's like the electorate is waking up to what they really want from their country. It's terrible to think of democracy, "the vanquisher of kings", being subverted by a bunch of empty suits.

Two Quotes

Which quote is from Democracy in America?

"The first of the duties that are this time imposed upon those who direct our affairs is to educate democracy, to reawaken, if possible, its religious beliefs; to purify its morals; to mold its actions; to substitute a knowledge of statecraft for its inexperience, and an awareness of its true instincts for its blind instincts, to adapt its government to time and place, and to modify it according to men and to conditions. A new science of politics is needed for a new world."

"Can it be believed that the democracy which has overthrown the feudal system and vanquished kings will retreat before tradesmen and capitalists?"

No peeking.


They both are.

freakin' out

so now I'm completely paranoid and self conscious about my ears and my hearing. One-I've convinced myself that they feel different, like they feel plugged or something and I'm wondering if that's a symptom. So now I'm constantly touching them and you know, fiddling is the right word I guess. Two-It has made me more subdued. that might be a good thing. Normally I'm very outgoing but I was at a birthday party tonight and there was a person there that I didn't know and there was a moment where conversation would have been appropriate but I didn't initiate one because he was sitting a little far away and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hear him and I would have to keep asking him to repeat himself. Three-I'm constantly monitoring my hearing now and wondering what everything "really" sounds like.

I think this is a bit of an excessive reaction/adjustment because itisn't like I'm stone deaf. I did have to have this confirmed. I just have an overactive imagination.

I knew it was coming

It has been, not a joke, but a running discussion between me and Ray that my hearing is not fantastic. For a couple of years now. In the past few months though I did find myself turning up the TV and,according to witnesses, talk more loudly when I was on the phone.

so I finally got around to seeing my doctor about it today. She didn't even look at my ears, just took me into a room to do a hearing test. I think to placate me. As we're doing the test and I have those funky headphones on I'm sneaking peeks at the dials she's spinning and see that she is making a series of x's on a card. They are all next to each other so I think "Well, OK this can't be too bad, they're all on the same row."

We finish the test and the first thing she says is "Your hearing is atrocious. Really bad." And she kind of looked surprised to be saying it. She points to the neat little line of X's at the bottom of the card and then points to the top of the card and says "This is normal. I think you might be a candidate for a hearing aid." I wasn't surprised but I was surprised. At my age health care stuff is rarely as bad as or worse than you think it's going to be and she was so blunt but wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. It was a really odd feeling. I have to see an audiologist now. It might not be that bad, I had finn on my lap and I may not always have been clicking as soon as I heard the sound. Oh who am I kidding? It's bad.

I was thinking about it, of course, and one funny thought I had was that I owe apologies to many people who I have been annoyed with for not, in my opinion, speaking clearly enough or projecting enough for me to understand them. HA! Turns out it really isn't you, it's me.

I also mentioned a problem with my toes and she recommended orthotics. a hearing aid and orthotics. Damn. I'm surprised she didn't send me out with a coupon for an Early Bird Dinner too. :)

Bossiness

A recurring complaint from Des is that his two best friends always want to play with him but sometimes he wants to play with the girls "and do activities". I guess his friends, according to Des, follow him everywhere and won't let him play with anyone else. Today Amelia complained about a new girl being bossy. I tell them how I think they should handle it or try and strategize with them and get to the heart of the problem. I recommend speaking honestly but kindly or writing them up if need be. Sometimes, though, I get sick of hearing about it and just want to intervene and solve the problem myself.

However, these are the things that they have to work out. And they really need to do it for themselves. We talk all the time about doing what's right and how hard it can be. I feel like if they get into the habit of standing up for themselves maybe when the time comes they won't feel the pressure to follow along into negative behaviors.

On another note Des said that he was feeling sad because he had no time to talk to me today. That was nice. Des isn't usually open like that.

Mommy messes up

So the kids got on the bus today. Des had a lot of anxiety about the bus and most of it was my fault. Earlier in the summer we had talked about taking the bus and Des was quite resistant and had said something to the effect that he would just miss the bus everyday so i would have to drive him. I thought he meant he would miss the bus on purpose so I said if you miss the bus everyday, you aren't going to be going to that school. Sigh. Mommy's are not perfect. I am not perfect. We know we shouldn't threaten.

So this morning, Des is very anxious and upset about missing the bus on the way home. With tears in his eyes he says "If I miss the bus you're going to make me go to regular school." Boy did I feel like a jerk.

I was surprised by how much I missed them today. I called school twice to try and chat but they were too busy. I remember last year at the beginning Amelia would call 5 or 6 times a day. Even at the end of the year she would call a couple of times a week. I don't think that will happen this year. And that's fine. It just makes me wistful I guess. When she got off the bus she seemed like a new kid. Older. Well, I still have Finn to baby.

I think I'm in love

the only problem is that he's been dead for 130 years. My RAL of Democracy in America finally started and I've only read the 100 page introduction and chapter 1 and I'm blown away. The scope of Toqueville's accomplishment cannot be overstated. Even the stuff he got wrong is fascinating because he should have gotten it right. Plus it makes me feel smart. Let me explain:

As my dedicated reader's know I think JC is why the Sudbury schools work so well. Read my other posts, I don't have time to get into it right now.

Well, Mssr. DeTocqueville called civil juries "the most energetic means of making the people rule, the most efficacious means of teaching it to rule well". Brilliant. God I wish I was that eloquent.

I wonder if he would mind if I called him Alexis?